I met with Paul Wolff, who is on the writing faculty in the film school, and these are the notes that I got:
The idea works. He felt the content was unusual for an animated film but he liked it overall.
He was confused about whether Bir was Hindu or Muslim because the dialogue misled him to think that Santosh and Bir are Muslims going to Pakistan, instead of the other way around. Solution: Fix the dialogue in the beginning to make it more clear.
He didn't like the fact that I don't show the mother reuniting with Bir at the end. He feels that the film is too short to have an ambiguous ending, and suggested that I have Maqbool hand Bir to his mother so that she's involved in the end. I'm not sure whether I agree.
He felt that the mother would do everything in her power to get to the child, so I should be more explicit about the fact that she can't get to him. Solution: Cutaway to her in the train compartment, unable to get out.
I asked him whether showing Bir chased by Muslim ruffians before being rescued would work against the premise. He felt that I can fix that by showing Hindus with weapons fighting back.
Overall, he was positive about the piece and understood most of my references to Muslims/caps, which was great. He recommended I check out the crowd scene in 'Empire of the Sun', a scene that I already have been looking at in great detail, so that makes me feel that I am on the right track.