8 rules for writing a short story

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_Vonnegut#Writing

In his book Bagombo Snuff Box: Uncollected Short Fiction, Vonnegut listed eight rules for writing a short story:

1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
4. Every sentence must do one of two things—reveal character or advance the action.
5. Start as close to the end as possible.
6. Be a Sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them—in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To hell with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

Vonnegut qualifies the list by adding that Flannery O'Connor broke all these rules except the first, and that great writers tend to do that.

Animatic December 5, 2007

This is the animatic that I presented at seminar on Dec 5. I'll post the feedback I've received shortly.

Script

This is my sixth version of the script and the version I am working with right now:

EXT. COUNTRYSIDE - DAY

A TRAIN flies down the tracks.

SUPERIMPOSE: In 1947, the last act of the crumbling British Raj was to partition the Indian Empire into Pakistan and India, based on religious majorities.

Both the compartments and roof of the train are filled with passengers.

SUPERIMPOSE: This division displaced ten million people as Hindus and Sikhs fled to India, and Muslims fled to Pakistan.

On the roof of the train, a man wearing a prayer cap (MAQBOOL) kneels and prays with the other passengers on the roof.

SUPERIMPOSE: One million people died in communal violence at the borders of the new nations.

FADE OUT

EXT. CROWDED TRAIN STATION - DAY

SUPERIMPOSE: Kufi: A short, rounded prayer cap traditionally worn by Muslims.

A ten-year old boy (BIR) is playing with a TOY TRAIN on the platform. A middle-aged woman (SANTOSH) is seated next to Bir, gazing into the distance. Behind them is a sign that says ‘Lyallpur'. The crowd has a color palette of mainly warm colors (browns and yellows). Bir and Santosh are dressed similarly.

Bir pushes the train along the ground and it rolls a short distance before bumping into Santosh’s feet. Santosh looks down and with a smile on her face, hands the toy to Bir.

BIR

Ma, where will the train take us?

Santosh smiles.

SANTOSH

Son, we’re going to our new home in India.

BIR

But isn’t this India?

SANTOSH

It used to be, but not anymore.

A train whistle blows and Santosh looks up. The train pulls into the station.

SANTOSH

Bir, stay close to me.

Santosh grabs Bir’s hand and they stand up.

The train comes to a halt at the platform. The green and grey passengers from the crowded train start getting off even before the train stops fully and start making their way through the crowd. At the same time, the brown and yellow people on the platform begin to push their way onto the train. Angry shouts are heard as both sets of passengers push and shove. Santosh and Bir battle the crowd as they head towards the train.

CUT TO:

In another part of the crowd, Maqbool is pushing and shoving his way away from the train. He gets shoved by a person wearing a brown shirt in the crowd and falls to the ground. Both his hat and bundle of belongings go flying.

CROWD MEMBER #1 (O.S.)

Get out of the way, old man!

Bir is visible through a gap in the crowd and he looks at Maqbool trying to reach his bundle. As Maqbool picks up his bundle and struggles to his feet, Bir lets go of his mother’s hand and runs into the crowd.

SANTOSH

Bir! Come back!!

Santosh runs after Bir.

CUT TO:

Bir catches up to Maqbool.

BIR

Sir!

Maqbool turns around. Bir starts to hand an object to Maqbool...

BIR

Sir, you dropped your cap!

Bir drops the cap into Maqbool’s hand. As Maqbool looks back up at Bir, all he sees is Bir disappearing back into the crowd.

Santosh sees Bir in the distance, making his way towards her. She starts to move towards Bir. Abruptly, the crowd surges and starts to push Santosh towards the train and Bir away from it. Santosh makes eye contact with her son in the distance.

SANTOSH

Grab my hand!

They struggle to reach each other. Then Santosh disappears from Bir’s view. He is pushed and shoved by the crowd. In several sections of the crowd, green and grey people are fighting the brown and yellow people with swords, daggers and staffs. Several people from both sides get wounded and collapse.

The surging crowd pushes Santosh onto the train.

In the midst of the crowd, Bir looks around frantically. He is pushed one way and then the next by the crowd. Through the crowd, he sees a figure in the distance.

BIR

Ma!

He moves towards the figure. He grabs at the figure’s clothing once he is closer. The figure turns around and Bir sees that it is a young man wearing a white prayer cap. There is a dagger in the man’s hand and a dead body in front of him. The man moves to strike Bir, who dodges the blow. Bir turns around and starts to run away. The man follows him. Bir puts his hand to his face and feels blood from a thin cut on his cheek. Bir pushes his way through the crowd, glancing over his shoulder as he does so. As he looks around, he sees the silhouetted figures of green and grey people wearing caps all around him.

Bir trips and falls over another body. On his knees, he looks up and sees the train in the distance through a gap in the crowd. He jumps to his feet and starts to run towards the train.

He runs into another person. Bir looks up to see a prayer cap on the person’s head. Bir sees that the man is Maqbool. Maqbool grabs Bir, but Bir pushes him away and turns. As he turns, Bir trips over a stone and falls. He begins to crawl away from Maqbool on his hands and feet, but finds his way blocked by the young man with dagger. All around them are people wearing caps. Maqbool catches up to Bir and drags him to his feet. Bir closes his eyes as he sees a shadow swinging towards him.

MAQBOOL

Stop! - I know this boy.

Bir opens his eyes. The young man backs away and disappears into the mass of people. Bir touches his head and feels a prayer cap on his head. Bir sees that the crowd of people wearing caps is melting away from him. Maqbool’s hand is on Bir’s shoulder as he wordlessly leads Bir through the crowd. Maqbool is not wearing a cap anymore.

The train whistle sounds and it starts to move. Some members of the crowd struggle to get on the train, others fall behind. Maqbool and Bir run towards the train. Through the window, Bir glimpses Santosh in the compartment. Bir and Maqbool get close to the compartment’s entrance and Maqbool forces the boy on, who stands at the entrance, sandwiched between the legs of the other passengers. Bir looks back at Maqbool as he slows down and eventually stops. Bir takes off the prayer cap and looks at it. He looks back up in the direction of Maqbool, and watches him disappear into the crowd. Bir’s gaze lingers for a moment, and then he turns around and begins to make his way into the compartment towards his mother as the train pulls away from the station.

Thumbnails

Thumbnails are a great way to explore different story ideas without getting too attached to anything.

Medium

I plan to make this film in 3D CGI. My previous 3D film has a relatively clean look, but with my thesis I'm trying to create a very textured, worn look and "dirty" up the frame. The 3D elements will be created in Maya, and I'll likely composite in Shake (maybe After Effects). Although the characters and environments will be 3D models, I'm going to experiment with rendering them flat - sort of like a textured Toon shaded look. Hopefully this approach will also have the side effect of keeping my render times lower than if I went with a Global Illumination-type look, which in turn will give me more time to play with the art directing.

In addition, I'm going to use a lot of handmade (possibly animated) textures along the lines of the references and tests that I posted about earlier. I'm also looking at puppet/stop-motion films for character design ideas. As I've mentioned elsewhere, I'm going to do some tests with Massive for the crowd scenes.

Finally, there will probably be a tiny bit of live action in there too. During my Contemporary Topics project, I got some more experience integrating a live cloak onto my animated character. Similarly, I used some dry ice footage as fog for my last film. Based on these projects, I feel that elements like dust (which I plan to have a lot of) are a lot easier to create in live-action than in CG, and can be integrated pretty well with some careful compositing and futzing with the frame rate. Live elements also seem to ground the animation, and make the environment seem more believable and organic, even when you're not going for a photorealistic look.

Maps

Here's a visual depiction of how India was partitioned. Pakistan was initially comprised of both East and West Pakistan, but in 1971, East Pakistan gained independence and became Bangladesh. My story is set in West Pakistan.

Before:



After:

The Story

First, a word about the historical context in which this film is set:
The partition of India into was the last act of the crumbling British Raj, when an independent Islamic state, Pakistan, was split off from India. This geographical division along with years of "Divide-and-conquer" British policies, poor official foresight and a host of other factors resulted in the largest ever human migration as Hindus fled to India and Muslims to Pakistan. Fifteen million people were displaced from their homes, and innumerable families and communities were fractured. In addition, between 500,000 and 1 million people were killed, primarily in communal violence/ethnic cleansing at the borders of India and Pakistan. A lot has been written about the event, but most people I encounter in the States don't know about this aspect of the history of India and Pakistan. Here's a link that goes into more detail about the event: http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/books/2007/08/13/070813crbo_books_mishra?currentPage=1
This time period has always fascinated me because both my sets of grandparents had to leave behind their homes and belongings and flee from what is now Pakistan.

Partition may have fractured an entire generation of people, but amongst the horrific carnage that occured, there are innumerable stories of escape and kindness that transcended communal boundaries. My inspiration for this film came from a partition story I heard from my father. My great-uncle - Bir Bhalla - would have been attacked by Muslim refugees at a train station if not for the intervention of a Muslim man. The man placed his Muslim prayer cap on my great-uncle’s head, who was a Hindu. Something about that gesture has always intrigued me - it's simple, yet complex and symbolic, and so powerful given the context in which it occurred. As result, I've decided to turn that idea into a film.

In the current version of my story (which is slightly fictionalized), Bir and his mother arrive at a train station in Lyallpur (now Faisalabad), Pakistan, to take the train to Amritsar, India, since they are Hindus. At the same time, a Muslim refugee from India - Maqbool - arrives at the station. Bir is separated from his mother when a fight breaks out between the Hindus and Muslims at the station. Bir gets lost in a section of the crowd that is comprised mainly of Muslim refugees and his life is in danger when Maqbool rescues him by placing his own prayer cap on Bir's head.

At this point, I'm still trying iron out the story so that it conveys the premise that compassion overcomes religious differences. This task is challenging because my goal is to depict the events such that the film does not come off as anti-Muslim. Moreover, since so much has been written about partition, I've also been thinking about how to bring something new to the topic. That's why my protagonist (i.e. Bir) is a child who is 10-12 years old. This will allow me to explore the events from a child's perspective and use animation to (hopefully) create some compelling psychological imagery.